Fairy Tail

Fairy Tail is more than just an anime to me. I’m one of its biggest fans, and my connection to it runs deep. I can still remember, although only vaguely, how I first started watching it. I had known about it since I was a kid, but back then, I didn’t care much. It was just another name I heard people talk about.

Things changed when I was around 23 or 24 years old. That period of my life was one of the hardest. I was jobless. I was mentally and emotionally broken. I stayed at home every day, locking myself away from the world. I had no motivation and no direction. All I did was try to escape reality by playing games and watching movies.

Then one day, out of nowhere, I remembered an anime I used to hear about when I was younger. Fairy Tail. I decided to give it a try. I told myself, if the first episode was boring, I would stop. I wasn’t expecting anything.

But it surprised me. It didn’t disappoint me at all.

From the very first episode, one character caught my attention. Lucy Heartfilia. She wasn’t just the main character to me. She felt like a reflection of myself. I saw parts of me in her. She was full of energy, she had big dreams, and most of all, she wanted more out of life. She wanted to leave her comfort zone and find a place where she truly belonged. That hit me so hard, because I felt the exact same way.

I admired her so much. I envied her courage. She was brave enough to leave a home where she didn’t feel loved. She walked away from the people who made her feel small and started her own journey. I wanted to do the same. I wanted to be that brave.

And in a way, I did. She inspired me. She made me believe that I could take the first step to build a life that feels right for me. That’s what I did a few years ago. Slowly, painfully, but with hope, I started walking on my own path.

I still remember the feelings I had when I watched Fairy Tail for the first time. The goosebumps. The way my chest felt heavy during emotional scenes. The tears that came without warning. I had never felt that connected to a story before.

Fairy Tail gave me something I was missing.

I wanted a place I could call home, because the home I grew up in never felt like one. I wanted to go on fun, wild adventures with true friends, but I never got the chance to. I wanted a life partner who would protect me, love me, and stay. But the people I met only left scars.

Everything I ever dreamed of, like home, friendship, love, and purpose, all of it existed in Fairy Tail. I know it is fiction. I know it is fantasy. But somehow, it became real to me in my heart.

And now, as I begin to turn 30, I can see things more clearly. I look back at my life and realize something important. All this time, I have been on a journey too. A real one. My own story. Slowly, I have been trying to make those dreams come true. Even when things were hard, I never gave up.

I kept going because I had hope. I had faith in God. I believed that my story was not over.

I still want to be strong like Lucy. I want to be smart like her. I want to be the person in my family who finally breaks the cycle and creates a better future. Just like she did.

That is how much Fairy Tail means to me.

I even had a gold pendant custom made, carved with the Fairy Tail guild symbol. It is not just an accessory. It is a reminder.

This pendant is a symbol that my life still holds hope. That my dreams are still alive. That even if I have not reached them yet, I am still on my way. Just like in the world of Fairy Tail.

What the Heart Knew

It’s been months since I had to accept that we were going to part ways again. The first time was already tough, but the second time… I kind of saw it coming. I had more time to prepare myself mentally. Still, knowing it was coming didn’t make it hurt any less.

Back then, I went through a lot emotionally. I was sad, angry, confused. It felt like everything just hit me all at once. But deep down, I think I already knew the truth. I knew he didn’t really care whether I stayed or left. To him, I was probably just another passerby, someone who was there for a moment, keeping him company, and then gone. Like a shadow that passes under moonlight without leaving a trace.

It took time but during that phase, I battled with myself a lot. There were so many feelings I had to fight through, jealousy, longing, the clingy side of me, even the sweet parts. I started to realise that keeping those feelings alive after he was gone would only hurt me more. So I decided to let them go. All of them.

The first time I tried to kill those feelings, I failed. I was still too soft. I kept hoping things would somehow change, that he might come back, or maybe that I mattered more than I really did. But when the second chance came, I didn’t waste it. I was ready. I didn’t even flinch. I let everything go.

The first version of me was like a fading moon, still holding on to a little bit of light. But the second version of me became a new moon, dark, quiet, but powerful in its own way. Some feelings take time to die, but they do. And this time, I didn’t let them stay.

He knew many sides of me. He saw the soft parts, the loud ones, the vulnerable and the brave. And all of that, everything he saw, it belonged to him. But that chapter is done now. That version of me doesn't exist anymore.

Now, something new has started to bloom inside me. It’s a version of myself I never knew could exist. A part that shines brighter from a different angle. And the best part is, someone else sees it now. Someone who accepts all of me, even the parts I thought were too much. He sees both the light and the shadows in me, and still chooses to stay. Just like how the moon is loved in all its phases, even when it disappears for a while.

I still hold on to the memories. I won’t lie and say they meant nothing. They did. But I don’t expect anything anymore. I remember, but I don’t wait. I let go, not because I hate, but because I’ve grown.

Because in the end, when something is truly meant for you, it will make you forget what you once lost.

And for the first time in a while, I’ve found peace. And I’ve finally chosen myself.