Suddenly it's 2018. I looked back at my old post and there's no single one for 2017. Interesting and weird and speechless.
What have I been doing for the past year? :)
I was going through the happiest life ever.
But now.
In this year, I lost them.
Why?
I don't know. I don't know how to put those feeling into words. I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. I don't know why everything so sudden lately.
I met someone. He was the best man I ever met. And had.
Everything suppose to be smooth and perfect.
But after all we've been through, after all we've been planned, after everything happened between us, Allah always the best planner.
Our meeting was a fate. And a big test.
Who should we blame? Who should I blame? I don't know anymore.
My life will never be the same after this.
So empty, my heart. So clueless, my future. What I want is not important anymore.
I just walking through the path of useless life from now.
I love him so much. He love me so much.
In the end, we still couldn't be together.
No one ever cheat on each other. We always stay faithful, trustworthy, encouraged each other, always have each other's back. Always. Always. Always love each other with all of our heart.
Promises has been made a lot of times. We swear a lot of things.
But why.
I lost him at the end.
And he choose to lose me too.
I want to understand him more.
I know to know him more.
I want to learn about him more.
I want to make memories with him more.
I want to walk together more.
I want to help him more.
I want to support him more.
I want to protect him more.
I want to have more times with him.
I want more and more and more with him.
I wanted to go back to the past so bad, and make more memories together.
It's so hurt. It's so pain.
This year is will be my worst year ever.
Tears will keep flowing every day.
I lost.
